Different waves. Same mind. 🥁🌊

Different waves. Same mind. 🥁🌊

There have been times in my life when, on the outside, everything might have looked okay. But on the inside, I was fighting battles that not everyone could see.

I’ve experienced the weight of depression, the pain of relationship breakdowns, the challenges of love, and the confusion that comes when life doesn’t turn out the way you expected. I’ve had to navigate difficult emotions, question myself, rebuild trust, and find a way forward when things felt overwhelming.

And through that journey, I’ve discovered something important:

sometimes, the things that help us find our way back to ourselves aren’t found in words alone.

For me, two of those things have been the ocean and music.

🌊 The ocean, my place to breathe.

I’ve been bodyboarding for around 30 years, and there’s something about being in the ocean that brings me back to the present moment. When I’m out in the water, reading a wave, finding my line and committing to getting up dropknee, the noise in my head starts to quieten.

For a while, the worries, the overthinking and the weight of everything happening on land can take a back seat.

The ocean doesn’t care about your relationship status, your mistakes, your past or what you’re struggling with. You show up as you are. It gives you space to breathe, reset and remember that you’re still here.

🥁 Music,  my way to release what’s inside.

Playing drums in my band, When Oceans Fall, gives me something different. When I sit behind the kit, pick up the sticks and play with the band, I can channel emotions that I sometimes struggle to put into words.

Frustration. Anger. Sadness. Energy. Hope.

Sometimes, you don’t need to explain everything you’re feeling. You just need a healthy way to let it out.

Music has given me connection, purpose, an outlet and something to work towards. It reminds me that even when life feels messy, I can still create something meaningful from it.

❤️ What I’ve learned about mental health, love and relationships.

Working through my own mental health journey has taught me that healing isn’t a straight line. You can be strong and still struggle. You can help other people while still having things to work through yourself. You can love someone deeply and still experience heartbreak.

And you can have difficult days without that meaning you’ve failed.

I’ve learned that looking after your mental health isn’t selfish, and asking for support isn’t weakness. It’s about recognising when you need help, finding healthy ways to process what you’re experiencing, and giving yourself permission to be human.

Bodyboarding and drumming haven’t magically fixed everything. They haven’t replaced the work involved in understanding myself, navigating relationships or dealing with difficult emotions. But they have helped me get through some challenging times, reconnect with myself and keep moving forward.

As a counsellor, this is something I believe in deeply:

we all need healthy outlets, connection and space to work through what life throws at us.

For one person, it might be the ocean. For another, music, the gym, walking, art, time in nature, talking to a trusted friend or sitting with a counsellor.

There is no single formula for looking after your mental health.

Sometimes, finding your way forward starts with discovering what helps you feel like you again.

If you’re going through a difficult time right now, particularly with depression, heartbreak or relationship struggles, please don’t feel that you have to carry everything alone. You don’t need to have all the answers today. Just take the next step you can.

Find your outlet. Find your people. Give yourself permission to heal.

And remember, the strongest thing you can do isn’t always to keep pushing through. Sometimes, it’s to acknowledge that you’re struggling and reach out for support.

I’d love to hear from you:

What’s one thing that helps you switch off the noise, reconnect with yourself or get through the tough days?

Let’s make these conversations about mental health, particularly men’s mental health, more honest, more human and more normal. 💙